Couples Counseling
Couples Counseling using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
- Are you feeling fearful or uncertain about the future of your relationship with your partner?
- Are you (or is your partner) feeling increasingly burned out and/or detached from your partner?
- Are you beginning to wonder if you can ever depend on your partner when you need him/her?
- Do you want to get closer to your spouse but find yourself actually pushing him/her away instead?
- Are you (or is your partner) becoming increasingly isolated and feeling you’re losing connection with your partner?
Your relationship is not lost or OVER. Your emotions are leading you toward patterns of behavior, action and reaction that are no longer serving you (or your partner). Your emotions may feel like “natural” responses to current situations but often, very often, they are not natural and they are not responses to current situations; rather, they are unconscious reactions to a fear of emotional loss based upon previous life experiences and relationships.
Does EFT Really help Regain Dying Relationships?
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT for short) can help. EFT has proven to be the strongest, most successful, empirically validated (proven) type of couple’s therapy.
“Whereas other forms of couple therapy have been shown in studies to be only about 35 percent effective in repairing relationships, EFT developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, has achieved a 75 percent success rate. Fully 86 percent of couples report feeling happier in their relationships, and results are long lasting.” (Hold Me Tight, by Sue Johnson).
EFT is considered short-term (8-10 sessions) and allows us to assess what is going on in your relationship and identify appropriate change strategies and interventions. Together, we will look at change processes and predictors of success.
You and your partner will come to an understanding of where you are emotionally in your relationship, patterns you’ve developed in your relationship that aren’t working and how to change and REPAIR them, with the goal of developing higher levels of trust, intimacy, and satisfaction and an improved, deeper emotional connection with each other.
Why Use Emotionally Focused Therapy?
Couples or marital counseling using EFT allows clients to see what is really happening emotionally for themselves AND for their partner, separate the signals from the noise, and regain balance, safety and security in their relationship.
Marriage counseling using EFT allows patients to see what is really happening emotionally for themselves AND with their partner, separate the signals from the noise, and regain balance, safety and security in their relationship.
'The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse' In Relationships
Dr. Gottman’s research on marriages is remarkable with respect to the length of time he and his research team followed couples. Their research points to four key markers of a relationship in trouble.
Gottman calls them ‘The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse’ although I encourage you to see them as gifts—if you are able to recognize that you are experiencing one of these, congratulations, you have the chance to change it and the course of your relationship.
Remember, a critical first step is to recognize these markers in yourself—the antidote for each is immediately productive and reinforces itself. We will cover all four in session. The four horseman are listed below, as well as the antidote for each:
- Criticism: Complain without blame
- Defensiveness: Take responsibility
- Contempt: Build culture of appreciation
- Stonewalling: Do physiological self-soothing
Why Trust Me?
My dedication to assisting others and my expertise in this field have earned me a place in the top 3 Marriage Counselors in San Diego, according to ThreeBest Rated. You can count on my full attention, sincere and candid advice, and naturally, my friendship in difficult times.
Here’s what my clients say about me:
M
Melanie G
I started seeing Lori in 2019, initially as a marital counselor and now I use her services for individual therapy.
She is truly the best! It can be hard to find a great therapist (I’ve tried two other therapists), but I felt Lori was the most helpful, understanding, and compassionate.
She molds her sessions to fit your individualistic needs and goals and you can instantly feel how much she truly cares about her clients. Her schedule is extremely flexible and her office is very welcoming (I love when she brings her dog who calmly sits in the corner after a few pets).
Never have I struggled with finishing my hour and I often feel like I could talk to her for hours. Highly recommend!!
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Sophia E
I started seeing Lori in early 2023.
While I originally reached out for one reason, Lori has been very supportive through multiple obstacles including coping with anxiety.
She has helped me find insight and confidence, and I can tell her guidance is coming not only from a genuine place, but a very knowledgeable place.
It’s clear that Lori cares about her patients and wants to work together to help them find a place of peace and understanding.
I would highly recommend Lori and plan to continue seeing her!
Contact Me
Please contact me TODAY to explore the opportunity for clarity and peace in your life and relationships. I look forward to answering your questions, learning more about your UNIQUE situation, and getting an appointment scheduled that works for you.
Please note that I work with several busy executives and other professionals for whom leaving the office becomes the biggest hurdle to forward movement in their most critical relationships–in marriage, family, and work. For a fee, I do arrange sessions at client offices and am happy to discuss details with you in person or by phone. I also conduct sessions via Skype for out-of-town clients.
- 2635 Camino del Rio S Suite 302, San Diego, CA 92108
- (858) 442-0798