You can’t read a newspaper or magazine without being advertised to about the terrible experience of sadness and the “freedom and joy” which can be found in a good anti-depressant. Lest we lose site of the value of our natural selves: our feelings—all of them—exist to protect, nurture and guide us in our life experience. Yes, there are clinically relevant experiences of depression that should be treated with drugs and therapy in order to avoid unbearable misery or any chance of additional trauma-related stress or suicide (more on this later in the post).
Many of us commonly use phrases such as, “That was so depressing!” or “I was so depressed last week” to describe brief periods of feeling one or more of the symptoms of depression listed below (Mayo Clinic). Likely we all will certainly recognize ourselves somewhere on the list, at least some of the time. As you read the list, understand some of the feelings described are just that—FEELINGS. They can be natural, functional and imperative to your understanding and processing of your life experiences.
Symptoms of depression include:
- Feelings of sadness or unhappiness
- Irritability or frustration, even over small matters
- Loss of interest or pleasure in normal activities
- Reduced sex drive
Insomnia or excessive sleeping - Changes in appetite — depression often causes decreased appetite and weight loss, but in some people it causes increased cravings for food and weight gain
- Agitation or restlessness — for example, pacing, hand-wringing or an inability to sit still
- Irritability or angry outbursts
- Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
- Indecisiveness, distractibility and decreased concentration
- Fatigue, tiredness and loss of energy — even small tasks may seem to require a lot of effort
- Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or blaming yourself when things aren’t going right
- Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
- Crying spells for no apparent reason
- Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches
- Frequent thoughts of death, dying or suicide
First, if you (or someone you care about) experiences suicidal thoughts, please don’t hesitate to call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 and speak to a trained counselor.
If, on the other hand, you are experiencing some of the symptoms above from time-to-time, first recognize that they are likely not unique to you. Everyone experiences symptoms of depression at times. These feelings can in fact be normal and healthy, self-protective responses to situational adversity or challenging events in your life.
Acute (as opposed to chronic) feelings of sadness, anxiety, or fatigue that coincide with a stressful event are normal. Consider that your mind and body and emotions are simply asking you to slow down a bit, stay in, be still, and experience the sadness. For example:
- Sadness can tell us something hurts and we need nurturing.
- Sleeping allows our mind and body and spirit to rest when circumstances are sometimes overwhelming.
- Indecisiveness can be a signal to slow down, stop, or let go of some control.
However, if you are experiencing severe and persistent symptoms; if you feel things are dark and you can see no light ahead; if you cannot imagine a way out, you may benefit greatly from help from a therapist.
Rest assured though, if your feelings and physical symptoms are less severe, your feelings of situational depression may be appropriate for life’s challenges and actually helping you to process the situation so you can move forward in a healthy manner. Benefits of feeling down:
Sitting with uncomfortable or different or new feelings–e.g., death of a loved one, end of a relationship, change in job status–allows you to slowly incorporate new events into your consciousness.
Choosing to be alone can be a self-protecting and a self-nurturing act. When we are saddened by something we feel no one else could understand, we may want to hold our sadness, privately, like a hurt child, until we feel less vulnerable. Wanting to protect our sadness and ourselves is not necessarily a bad thing. There is a valuable place for solitude on the path to peace.
Crying allows a release for ourselves when done privately. Crying publicly can be a signal to others we need some care and compassion. Our body is smart and works organically to signal others as to how best to help us. Protecting wounds is different from denying them. Letting others know we are fragile often can provide us the space and support we all need from time-to-time.
If you are down today, hold your sadness, protect it; it belongs to you and the feelings of sadness need and deserve your attention. Feel free to provide your feelings shelter today.