Children and adults have constant access to drama via reality T.V., Facebook, texting and/or Twitter. A teenager can leave school with a particular understanding of where he stands among his peer group and by 9:00 pm that night, see that position have changed via posts to Facebook about a discussion, action or opinion expressed at school that has subsequently been discussed and analyzed, juried and judged entirely on-line. A tech pause for dinner could mean a change in social status.
As adults we feel a similar need to stay “up on things.” We find ourselves telling our kids to wait just a second for help with their homework while we finish catching up on some news item; checking Facebook; watching our favorite show (uninterrupted and/or without commercials; or tweeting our strong opinion about this or that.
There is a compulsion among adults and children to ‘stay in the loop’ without a clear understanding of the value of that ‘loop’ or the toll it takes on us to stay in it. We cannot take back what is part of our culture—and yes, there is significant advantage to a culture and technology that allows for nearly instant access to information, resources, and opinions.
We do however need a balance, a way to turn off and turn in. I refer specifically to pursuits where we are not reacting (texting) so much as acting; where we are not formulating a response (Facebook) so much as contemplating a reality; where we not numbing our mind (reality television) so much as listening to our own stillness.
Can you incorporate something into your day today that allows you to act, to contemplate, to listen to stillness? Whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, the example you set will be a reference point for him/her when they seek solace—will their solace come from food, drugs, spectator sports, or from walking, reading, yoga, hiking, writing?
Enjoy technology and our information-rich world, and at the same time model productive coping skills, productive self-soothing behaviors (e.g. perhaps consider going “off the technology grid” for a day per week) and prioritizing self-care—for your own sake as well as the ones you love.